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The Chemistry Department Stairs: possibly the most idiotic way to prove Mankind's superiority over the Daleks.
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Pravda continues its monthly guide to the common campus with an investigation into this remarkably stupid piece of molecular engineering.
You are looking at one of the most unusual staircases ever constructed.
And it's here at Rending. The Rending Chemistry Department's main
stairwell plays host to this, the British staircase industry's master
statement.
The staircase is actually a double helix structure: it has an 'up' and a
'down' direction on opposite sides. It's built by as it were spearing the
treads onto a central spike so that they overhang equally on each side.
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This, as can be imagined, is one of the most hideously complex and
wasteful ways to build a staircase.
The scary thing is actually dealing with the fundamental process of
ascending or descending the staircase. This is very hard. It is quite
possible to ascend only one floor and still come away reeling in shock.
This accounts for the fact that the Rending Chemistry department has
singularly failed to contribute to the advancement of science, whereas the
local infirmary is filled with shell-shocked and raving ex-chemists.
An internal shot of the stairs would not be possible - there are simply
too many dimensions involved. Hopefully this tricky-to-capture external
shot conveys the spirit of the arrangement adequately.
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The entire structure has to be enclosed in a grid of steel bars to prevent people falling off the edges under the influence of centrifugal force. Cynical rubbernecks often gather outside the main entrance to watch the victims of the staircase as they stumble disorientatedly out into the parking lot. More than one person has been known to take a very considerable detour via Northwich, Cheshire, each time they enter and leave the department, just to avoid the stairs.
So, next time you're in Rending, pay a visit. You'll be dazed and
confused.
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