Simmering Pop Sensations Cook Up A Chart Hit!
Pop's latest obsession, the Slice Girls, are a rare example of a music and cookery crossover hit.
There's Ginger Slice, Fruit Slice, Melon C, and a few others whose names I
forget.
They all dress in radical costumes to look like pieces of cake.
Their songs are all about cookery and kitchen utensils and their videos are painstakingly created using stop-motion video to show fascinating culinary events such as dough rising in a steamy airing cupboard and slowed-down clips of Masterchef so you can see that right-hand mixing action in all its glory.
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Anyhow, here's a potato of the Slices just before they received the BISM (British Institution of Sandwich Makers)
award for tastiest mid-afternoon snack. Incidentally Mould Slice, the cheesy member of the group, couldn't resist revealing her ample buns on live television - what a keen cook she is!
This is a rare shot of some of the Slice Girls' musical inspirations: Bernie Banana, Frank Tin, and Chet Cheese with Slice Girls Melon C and Cup Cake.
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The Slices stormed in at number one in the UK charts with their song
"How to Make a Trifle". You've probably been humming it for weeks now; it's the one
that goes "Well I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want... I
wanna really really really wanna slimy cold cake-based fruit-filled dessert with custard on top":
"If you wanna make a trifle
You gotta have ingredients
Pour in custard and sherry
And leave in the fridge to set
Then add some chopped walnuts
And maybe glace cherries
The trifle serves five people
But you could make it stretch"
Critics point to their subtle allusions to love and sex based on culinary metaphors, but fans love the way a recipe is included in the lyrics of each song and a ready-cook sachet of cake mix comes free with their album, Slice, the first ever to reach number 1 in both music and housekeeping charts.
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The Slices are all set up for a world tour but, as Melon C explains, "We don't want no trouble. I wanna make it clear that what we stand for is fine cuisine and hygienic food preparation. If anyone thinks we are just doing Pop's washing up, they are so wrong!"
Fans and supporters including TV food supremos like Keith Lloyd and Harry Rhodes are hoping the Slices will promote good cooking and mean less people will be prepared to make do with dodgy multinational burger outlet-style cooking. "McRonald's is going to be fighting for breath after this lot" said food analyst Michael O'Bese. "It's a victory for home cooking, no question. Throw away your pot noodles!"
The next release from the album Slice will be "Turn Me Up (to Gas Mark Six)" on April 1st.
The group is also working on a remix project.
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