A day in the life of Mandy Seer

Mandy was considering changing her name to Pam, but it didn't seem to put her in a better mood. She stood up and wandered in a melencholy daze out of her newly painted bottle-green bedroom, turned nimbly into her freshly redecorated eggshell-white corridor, before tripping down her recently flavoured cinnamon-brown stairwell and swearing quietly.

Being clairevoyant has it's good points; you always know what factor sunscreen to pack for your holidays, you never buy a product only to see it reduced two days later, and you can win a fortune on the lottery which you can use to have your house repainted every other week, but it does put you in a really bad mood when you know that you're just about to trip down the stairs.

Mandy picked herself up, dusted herself off and answered the phone. She hung up, waited for it to ring then answered it again.

"No I don't want any double glazing thankyou" and hung up for a second time. She wondered why she even bothered answering sometimes, but not doing things just because she knew what was about to happen gave her terrible migranes as the timeline crashed, rebooted and displayed a pointless error message about how it wasn't switched off properly last time in her head.

"Sometimes" she thought out loud, "I wish Wicked Marketing's R&D department hadn't been experimenting with new types of colander quite so near to my nursery" and turned on the television.

Despite her unique talent, Mandy could still never find the remote-control so was unable to change channel during the commercial break and was about to get up to make a cup of tea when the latest Wicked Marketing commercial grabbed her attention, she had known it was about to come on, but had been unprepared for the vivid image that was currently depicted in gloriously gory colour on her trinitron-widescreen display.

Do you have any rings that no longer fit?

"No," replied Mandy, "and my fingers are of a perfectly normal size."

Are your fingers of abnormal size?
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and replace it with an entirely new, differently sized finger, custom made to fit your ring!
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comming soon: utility finger attachment, featuring corkscrew, bottle opener, and a neat pocket perfectly sized to contain the Wicked Marketing Colinder condom; painted green at no extra charge.