| No, I don't hate you. I'm always suspicious of strange hamsters. I still wouldn't mind knowing who you are, though. Am I supposed to remember you from somewhere? My memory is notoriously bad with names - though not faces or girl's telephone numbers for reasons best known only to the programmers. If I don't know you, then absorb the following description: I am a prototype of the Kieran series, designed in Nazi-Germany and later sold to South Africa under the Friendship and Extermination treaty of the first Afrikaaaner government. |
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| From the labs, I was liberated by a group of hippies who were later chased out of the country. My dormant but violent form was taken to Italy, where elite Italian neuroscientists - due to a lie about the elite part - succeeded in removing portions of my cortex responsible for Nazi doctrine, while lowering my I.Q. from over 240 to a variable 80-140 (depending on wind-direction, F.A. cup scores and the market price of shares in Tooth Foods inc.)I am powered by pizza, but am allergic to cheese, which explains a lot about my basic paranoia. Being a prototype, I am smaller than the production model, and more likely to break down, but have a number of nifty gadgets that were written out of the program by the administrators. I also have sharp teeth. The guard is coming. | |