Pants!

From time to time here in the T2B1 office, we receive a natty gismo to try - hey, that's why we're here. But amongst the wonderful bits and pieces there are always a few weirdies which are to all intents and purposes as comprehensible as Batman with Robin's cloak stuck between his teeth, as helpful as a telephone directory with all the numbers tippexed out, and as bizarre as John Craven's Newsround viewed through a box of translucent yellow toothpicks.

Just such a device has recently been withdrawn from an ominous looking brown paper bag, and I think it's watching me...

It's green, about three inches in diameter, it's called a Vegometer and it's like nothing I've seen. You insert your root vegetable through the spout, rotate the central core, and out pop rings, circles or cubes - depending on the nozzle. It's not that the nozzle is meant to have three options, it's just that after a few uses the plastic seems to break off. And out come the cubes, bizarrely.

Oh, and don't forget if you spill lager on it, it will blow up.

Edna Lettuce

gear: Grindmaster Vegometer

Price: 14.99 - pants!

Competition - win one of three Vegometers! If you think we're running a competition to win a Vegometer you are mistaken. They don't exist, and even if they did we wouldn't let you in a room with one. You never know what might happen.