Ant and Bee visit the "Clinic"

     One day, after years of patient trying, Bee decided that he was not able to make Ant pregnant. Naturally he was worried, wanting to know whether it was him or Ant who was infertile, so he asked Kind Dog. Kind Dog did not know how to tell whether Ant or Bee was the infertile partner, but he said he knew a friendly doctor at the vet's surgery who specialised in the fertility of insects. Ant and Bee both climed onto Kind Dog's back and Kind Dog ran all the way to the vet's surgery. Bee said that riding to the vet's surgery on Kind Dog's back was his favourite pastime.

    Both Ant and Bee arrived at the vet's surgery and they crawled under the Big yellow door. Ant said that crawling under Big yellow doors was his favourite pastime. Bee asked Ant whether he also enjoyed crawling under big green doors and Ant said that big green doors were not as good for crawling under as big yellow doors. The two friends climbed up on the vet's desk and Ant said "hello Mr Vet" and the vet said "hello Ant" and Bee said "hello Mr Vet" and the vet said "hello Bee".

    The doctor asked Bee what the trouble was. Bee replied that he had been trying for months and he was unable to make Ant pregnant; Bee really wanted to have a child so that he could see what type of genetic mutant a mating between an ant and a bee would produce. The vet told Ant and Bee to get undressed and to lie on his bench, so they both removed their hats and Ant put down his walking stick while bee dropped his umbrella. The vet examined both of the insects and finally reached a conclusion.

    "Ant, Bee," he said in grave tones, "the reason Ant has not become pregnant is obvious from looking at the pictures of you in your books. I suggest that you go to your artist and ask him to draw you some genitalia." Ant and Bee had not thought of this, so they paid the doctor with all of the money that they had, which amounted to a button, some sweet rappers, an old rusty safety pin and a soiled condom which Bee had found one day and was using as a shopping bag. The doctor was very pleased and he let Ant and Bee go out of his surgery without getting stamped on.

    Ant and Bee visited their artist and indignantly requested that they be given genitalia. The artist was most obliging and Ant and Bee went around proudly displaying their newly aquired genitalia. Many months later, after several months in prison for indecent exposure, and several months in bed, Ant and Bee returned to the vet and asked him what was wrong.

    The vet asked Ant and Bee if they had ever wondered why they were both referred to as `he' in their books. They said that they hadn't, and so he told them to go away as they would never produce their demonic spawn. Ant and Bee started crying.

    Other books in the Ant and Bee series: Ant and Bee in a brothel, Ant and Bee at a sheep farm, Ant, Bee and the Warden, Ant and Bee go joyriding, Ant and Bee and the seven virgins, Ant and Bee and the seven girls, Ant and Bee at a naturist beach, and Pesticide, the life and death of Ant and Bee.