Music:
It Happens

Pravda usually steers well clear of music, because the delicate sensibilities of its readers might be upset by our deliberately ignorant and heavy handed approach to the subject. But just for a laugh we've decided to throw caution to the winds and write a music article anyway.

Mark Lorryson

So we kick off with exciting news: Mark Lorryson, extraordinary drain-cleaning rapper from Leicester, has become the first artist to get airplay for foreplay. The delicate subject is eloquently discussed on his seminal new single "A:rousal in the House", which features the characteristic sound of Mark's constipated-duck voice and some charming young females singing along. The song was recorded in total nudity for authenticity and this can be heard in the final mix, especially at the song's climax when, be cause the lights were very low, an enthusiastic backing vocalist grabbed a microphone, mistaking it for something altogether more human.

More tea, vicar?

Next, news of another pharmaceutical event in the music business. After the success of a band who effectively named themselves after the most frequent order in an Amsterdam green-leaf coffee bar, the band "Cake" have emptied themselves out of a clear plastic bag onto the world stage. We can expect the trend to continue, and are anticipating chart success for Arret! (French House music displaying bowel-emptying bass lines) and Rennie Bitch (hard hitting, cross-dressing swedish window-cleaner jazz rock played on detuned toothpicks).

Boy Bands:

And finally to round off this essentially orthagonal and pie-eyed view of the music biz, we look at boy bands. At Pravda we've spent weeks drawing up our definitive guide for achieving success, and here's our recommendation: If you want to achieve success as a boy band, tuck everything into your trousers and you can't fail. This works for men of both sexes.Good luck, and see you all on Top of the Flops!
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